So it’s the final week of 2020- WE MADE IT (DANCES!) and what a roller coaster this year has been. Honestly i can say that between my disease, the global pandemic, my mental health, and everything else that has come my way, this year has been nothing short of transformative. It’s funny, because when you think about everything this year threw at me, you’d think i would be coming out of it all feeling worse than ever, but the opposite is actually true…

I have this issue with my author career and general life called chronic pain, so I thought I’d start doing these little update posts because so many people ask me how I juggle my health, writing, and running my author business without having some kind of mental/physical breakdown. The truth is, it’s not easy, and more often than not I DO end up having some kind of breakdown. November 2020 has been a prime example of this, with me having to be benched from author work for two whole weeks due to some serious health problems (I mean what else do you call over thirty shoulder dislocations in 2 weeks?). It’s frustrating as all hell, especially if you ask Mark, who will tell you I’m a total and complete nightmare when I can’t work. So, I thought I’d fill you guys in on what I’ve been doing for the last two weeks (besides pulling my goddamn hair out- it’s super long now too by the way and I need a haircut so bad- thank you lockdown!) So uh, without further rambling ado, I present… my life lately.

I’m writing this letter because recently I’ve realised that despite having you in my life for the last five years, there’s still a lot of things I haven’t managed to let go of from before you came. I never expected you to come into my life, and when you did, I was in no way prepared…

One of the best parts of my new schedule, in my opinion, is my evening routine, which has managed to seriously increase the amount of sleep i’m getting as well as the quality. Everyday still isn’t perfect of course, but i’m finding that waking up is alot less of a challenge than it used to be, so i thought i’d share my routine, and the products that make it so amazing, with you!

I think, and most of the Chronic Pain and Invisible Illness community will definitely agree with me here, that perhaps the most painful part of living with invisible diseases like Ehlers Danlos Syndome, isn’t the physical pain at all.

Instead, it’s the pain that comes with the social side of this condition that takes the biggest toll.

Whenever people ask me about my chronic pain… I find my answers to be… how shall I put this… Lackluster. It’s a complicated thing, these diseases which have changed my life in just a few short years. Its complicated like a set of invisible dominoes you can’t see, and that most people doubt even exist. So, I am gonna try and explain this thing, this invisible thing, which most people doubt exists, in a way which is easy to understand.

There isn’t any question about why I became a writer. It’s that reason you never want to list as motivation, but something which often puts you on the path you least expect, and which if you’re lucky like me, turns out to be the exact place you should be.

I was desperate.